not even messing around one of you wake the fuck up and walk with me to cathey because i need to get sobes v fast!!!! GAH. should i knock on my friend’s door? ya im gonna be that bitch b/c i am calling in a long owed favor. there we have it. drunk writing at its finest, ladies and gents.
when u r so beyond the point of drunk at nearly 8am and have an enormous bruise on your lip and lunch w/ ur aunt in t-3.5 hours
unparalleled love for this guy
Pity the girls sitting near me rn because I’m having a great hair day
wow this relapse thing tastes great
better go find student counseling *sigh*
made it through all of o-week without even touching a dessert only to binge on the shit in my own room at 1:45 in the morning
fucking pirate’s booty
fucking disordered eating
i want snl to do a skit on how, in pregnancy commercials, the friend hearing the big news totally glazes over her buddy’s pregnancy and instead skips right to the part about which test did she use
"great, you’re literally creating a life form, which aisle at cvs"
Trying to explain the difference between a pantsuit and a jumpsuit to college boys
5 days into college and man have I made a name for myself
Why do I like vodka so much
I’m supposed to move in only a half hour before my roommate and now my parents are running late so we aren’t even going to have a half hour difference.
Being late is my job guys, come the fuck on